My Second Breathless Moment

It is 2:30 a.m. now.. Sakit bgt rasany.. Sesak sekali.. This condition is worse than the last time I got but my mind wasn't as calm as it is now. I can even count how many breathe I can take in a minute.. And support myself to keep breathing.. Feels like going to be kicked out of this so-damn-beautiful world but really I wanna stay a little longer.. God help me out of this situation.. Yes I do I wanna meet you but please not now.. Hope you understand, dear God.. I love You so much..

Rak Bacaan Saya: Kening Fitrop

Mungkin buat orang-orang diluar sana yang hobi baca menahun ngerasa biasa aja dengan hal ini, tapi buat aku yang udah kehilangan kebiasaan itu beberapa tahun lalu yang nyasar entah kemana, ini hal paling extra-ordinary bisa melahap habis buku Fitrop dalam tempo 24 jam (ya.. lebih dikit lah..) seperti saat melahap komik Sinchan dan sejenisnya dulu.. beberapa tahun lalu.. Selamat bu Fitrop, anda berhasil membuat saya membayangkan anda dalam scene-scene film di Kening saya.. Salam buat Agra.. Pribadinya menarik hati (ceilah..) Siapa dia sebenarnya?? #wink-wink

Special Occasion: Happy Ramadhan Month

It has been a long time since the last time I logged in to this lovely diary, missing writing so much but nothing can be shared today... need silent time situation and condition to rewind my mind and write it down here.. hahaha...

So here I come just to say "Happy Ramadan Month" wishing you a very blessing month..

I will come next time in the right time to write down the days I've been through...

C Ya!!

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Cerita Sedikit: Ngglethek

Walking around so far, wasting some of my times, then choosing what I want and what I like.. Just to find out at last that what I really wanted do not belong to me..

◦◦◦

Well, I intentionally stopped speaking and just waited and see.. Not even choosing which I need or I want, I just follow him.. And what I have guessed is right.. We're going no where.. And got nothing.. I just tried to make the analogy of this moment and other important decision in life.. Marriage.. Really hope that is not what will happen in my life with him..

Mr. & Mrs. Bahagia: One Voice was Heard by God

04-06-11
22:16
I have to write or I will surely forget it or even I will never have time to write it.

I got a very terrible cough and flu yesterday. Actually I have felt that since 31st of May, but I didn't know why people started recognizing that I got flu and cough a day after that day. Well, that's not too important. Just a lil curious how it could happen. It might be the sign that this time the flu and cough would be worse than before.

Two days ago when I woke up in the morning, I got a more terrible flu and cough than before. It was so difficult for me to take a breath. I nearly forgot how to breathe. I cried, crumble, all the negative thought passed through my mind. I was so panic. I send text to my friend, asking whether it is kind of asthma or not. At night I couldn't sleep, coz I couldn't freely breath. My breast was so sick. It felt like something kept pushing it and wouldn't let me breathe. I tried my best to sleep hoped something good would happen when I woke up.

But yesterday I was getting even worse. In the morning at six I tried to take the same medicine I had taken the previous night, coz I felt the cough was getting better after I took that medicine. But then I found myself getting worse even in the afternoon so I decided not to work coz I was so afraid I would make all the people at work got disturbed by my groan/whimper... And it would not good for the environment.

Dad said Mom got a prescription from our relative who is a doctor, well I felt a lil relieve coz I believe soon they would bring the medicine to me but... I was waiting for about three hours or so, but they didn't come. They came in the evening. Oh God, you know how terrible my condition was.

Well, I took the medicine but I didn't feel anything better in me. My HC came and talked to me, he served me a glass of warm ginger water. And I drank it. We didn't know why anytime he wanted to go home there was always something to cancel it. Then we were talking until about 8.

We were so shocked coz my uncle came to us and talked to us. At first I thought he would blame me for something or just remind us of something. But then we knew he wanted to talk about me and my HC relationship. He has known that we are having a serious relationship. He said that my sickness -ma ag- is caused by stressful thinking. And he really believe that this is bcoz I was thinking about our relationship.

He said he was out too long this day bcz he talked abt this things to mom. I didn't know whether to agree on what he said or not, coz I myself was not sure if it is the cause of my sickness. But he was right when he said we (me, my HC, and my parents-esp Mom) are too difficult to find the right moment to talk about it. And he said this was the right moment for him to tell us and to give us help if we think we need mediator... Well, I was just silent but my HC told all about our problem to him. And he gave us many words which I think those words are right...

My body was still not well but he said it would be better after this talk. Yeah, I was so happy at that time, at least one problem have been solved. We (me n my HC) were planning to talk the next day, it means today.

What about my sickness... It was not getting better, coz I could still feel something stopping me to freely breathe... Then I vomited and felt a lil relieve. But at night it's getting worse again. Thank God mom asked my to sit sleeping. I couldn't sleep but at last I felt so tired being like that and tried to lay down my body and... I slept...

(To be continued)