22:16
I have to write or I will surely forget it or even I will never have time to write it.
I got a very terrible cough and flu yesterday. Actually I have felt that since 31st of May, but I didn't know why people started recognizing that I got flu and cough a day after that day. Well, that's not too important. Just a lil curious how it could happen. It might be the sign that this time the flu and cough would be worse than before.
Two days ago when I woke up in the morning, I got a more terrible flu and cough than before. It was so difficult for me to take a breath. I nearly forgot how to breathe. I cried, crumble, all the negative thought passed through my mind. I was so panic. I send text to my friend, asking whether it is kind of asthma or not. At night I couldn't sleep, coz I couldn't freely breath. My breast was so sick. It felt like something kept pushing it and wouldn't let me breathe. I tried my best to sleep hoped something good would happen when I woke up.
But yesterday I was getting even worse. In the morning at six I tried to take the same medicine I had taken the previous night, coz I felt the cough was getting better after I took that medicine. But then I found myself getting worse even in the afternoon so I decided not to work coz I was so afraid I would make all the people at work got disturbed by my groan/whimper... And it would not good for the environment.
Dad said Mom got a prescription from our relative who is a doctor, well I felt a lil relieve coz I believe soon they would bring the medicine to me but... I was waiting for about three hours or so, but they didn't come. They came in the evening. Oh God, you know how terrible my condition was.
Well, I took the medicine but I didn't feel anything better in me. My HC came and talked to me, he served me a glass of warm ginger water. And I drank it. We didn't know why anytime he wanted to go home there was always something to cancel it. Then we were talking until about 8.
We were so shocked coz my uncle came to us and talked to us. At first I thought he would blame me for something or just remind us of something. But then we knew he wanted to talk about me and my HC relationship. He has known that we are having a serious relationship. He said that my sickness -ma ag- is caused by stressful thinking. And he really believe that this is bcoz I was thinking about our relationship.
He said he was out too long this day bcz he talked abt this things to mom. I didn't know whether to agree on what he said or not, coz I myself was not sure if it is the cause of my sickness. But he was right when he said we (me, my HC, and my parents-esp Mom) are too difficult to find the right moment to talk about it. And he said this was the right moment for him to tell us and to give us help if we think we need mediator... Well, I was just silent but my HC told all about our problem to him. And he gave us many words which I think those words are right...
My body was still not well but he said it would be better after this talk. Yeah, I was so happy at that time, at least one problem have been solved. We (me n my HC) were planning to talk the next day, it means today.
What about my sickness... It was not getting better, coz I could still feel something stopping me to freely breathe... Then I vomited and felt a lil relieve. But at night it's getting worse again. Thank God mom asked my to sit sleeping. I couldn't sleep but at last I felt so tired being like that and tried to lay down my body and... I slept...
(To be continued)
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