Cerita Sedikit: Ngglethek

Walking around so far, wasting some of my times, then choosing what I want and what I like.. Just to find out at last that what I really wanted do not belong to me..

◦◦◦

Well, I intentionally stopped speaking and just waited and see.. Not even choosing which I need or I want, I just follow him.. And what I have guessed is right.. We're going no where.. And got nothing.. I just tried to make the analogy of this moment and other important decision in life.. Marriage.. Really hope that is not what will happen in my life with him..

Mr. & Mrs. Bahagia: One Voice was Heard by God

04-06-11
22:16
I have to write or I will surely forget it or even I will never have time to write it.

I got a very terrible cough and flu yesterday. Actually I have felt that since 31st of May, but I didn't know why people started recognizing that I got flu and cough a day after that day. Well, that's not too important. Just a lil curious how it could happen. It might be the sign that this time the flu and cough would be worse than before.

Two days ago when I woke up in the morning, I got a more terrible flu and cough than before. It was so difficult for me to take a breath. I nearly forgot how to breathe. I cried, crumble, all the negative thought passed through my mind. I was so panic. I send text to my friend, asking whether it is kind of asthma or not. At night I couldn't sleep, coz I couldn't freely breath. My breast was so sick. It felt like something kept pushing it and wouldn't let me breathe. I tried my best to sleep hoped something good would happen when I woke up.

But yesterday I was getting even worse. In the morning at six I tried to take the same medicine I had taken the previous night, coz I felt the cough was getting better after I took that medicine. But then I found myself getting worse even in the afternoon so I decided not to work coz I was so afraid I would make all the people at work got disturbed by my groan/whimper... And it would not good for the environment.

Dad said Mom got a prescription from our relative who is a doctor, well I felt a lil relieve coz I believe soon they would bring the medicine to me but... I was waiting for about three hours or so, but they didn't come. They came in the evening. Oh God, you know how terrible my condition was.

Well, I took the medicine but I didn't feel anything better in me. My HC came and talked to me, he served me a glass of warm ginger water. And I drank it. We didn't know why anytime he wanted to go home there was always something to cancel it. Then we were talking until about 8.

We were so shocked coz my uncle came to us and talked to us. At first I thought he would blame me for something or just remind us of something. But then we knew he wanted to talk about me and my HC relationship. He has known that we are having a serious relationship. He said that my sickness -ma ag- is caused by stressful thinking. And he really believe that this is bcoz I was thinking about our relationship.

He said he was out too long this day bcz he talked abt this things to mom. I didn't know whether to agree on what he said or not, coz I myself was not sure if it is the cause of my sickness. But he was right when he said we (me, my HC, and my parents-esp Mom) are too difficult to find the right moment to talk about it. And he said this was the right moment for him to tell us and to give us help if we think we need mediator... Well, I was just silent but my HC told all about our problem to him. And he gave us many words which I think those words are right...

My body was still not well but he said it would be better after this talk. Yeah, I was so happy at that time, at least one problem have been solved. We (me n my HC) were planning to talk the next day, it means today.

What about my sickness... It was not getting better, coz I could still feel something stopping me to freely breathe... Then I vomited and felt a lil relieve. But at night it's getting worse again. Thank God mom asked my to sit sleeping. I couldn't sleep but at last I felt so tired being like that and tried to lay down my body and... I slept...

(To be continued)

Saya dan Murid-murid Saya: My Students Birthday

It is a story about three days ago, two days ago, and yesterday...

Another ordinary class with extra-ordinary students...

This most diligent student came earlier than usual (he usually comes 30mins late but this time he comes on time). Well I started the class and discussed school materials, then the second boy come, he is the most unpredictable boy I have ever known, I am often irritated by him, but well the more I get to know him, the more I know him, and the more I let him be like him (I always try to tell myself that if you cannot change him, you should change the way you see him, I do it till now... Trying hard to do so). Thinking a bout him reminds me a proverb, "If you want to change a man, change him when he was born" XD

The teaching and learning activity ran well, and suddenly I check the presence list and I found something, birth date of some students. And there stated 26/5... My eyes suddenly blinking fast... "Treat... Treat... Treat...," that sound surrounding my head. So I said, "Wow, there will be a celebration tomorrow, won't it?" That unpredictable boy was just smiling, recognising what I thought... And he said, "Okay, I treat you next meeting... Where?" We are all thinking and giving ideas, and finally we agreed to have a class @aQuanos Cafe near the course place.

While we were talking abt it another student came, she is now the only girl student we have. She's so nice but so shy, seems like she doesn't get used to a class like this (she was from other class but since all of her friends who are vocational high school students are on job training, she was moved to this class). I asked her to join the party, too.

Mr. & Mrs. Bahagia: The Second Therapy

A note of May 21st, 2011

It was the second time I got the therapy, well ya I can feel the difference *though it cost much

Feels like I'm getting much better but sometimes the headache still come and gone

I asked the therapist about whether it could be like stroke and so on or not.

He said and tried to explain to me that it could be like that if I didn't take a treatment

*is it such a promotion??

*WINKING to the Therapist* <>

He really hopes I could be helped

Hopefully there will be not bad things happening to me...

Amin...

Mr. & Mrs. Bahagia: Mencoba Bangkit

Hari Jumat ini berlalu begitu cepat. Sudah satu minggu berlalu sejak hari dimana aku jatuh pingsan. Rasa sakit itu masih aku rasakan, bahkan hari ini jauh lebih parah dari kemarin. Aku tahu dan sangat yakin penyebabnya adalah rasa kantuk yang amat sangat tapi aku tidak bisa tidur.

Tapi alhamdulillah, sore tadi sampai dengan maghrib aku berhasil tidur setelah perjuangan panjang.

Oh iya, tepat tanggal 20 Mei pula. Hari kebangkitan nasional ini, jadi aku pun harus bangkit dari semua ini.

"Mencoba berkawan dengan penyakit," kata seorang bijak padaku

"Banyak berdoa dan meminta maaf, siapa tahu kita saling bersalah," kata seorang bijak lainnya

dan...

"Penyakit itu jangan dirasakan, dibuat senang aja," kata seorang bijak satunya

Jadi ingat lagunya Anggun C. Sasmi...

"It's all in your mind, in your mind"

Dan ya, ketiga orang bijak yang berkata padaku ini benar...

So...

"Perkenalkan penyakit, namaku Rani..."

"Semuanya... maafkan semua kesalahanku, baik sengaja maupun tidak... Please..."

dan...

"I am fine... I am okay... Nothing is happening to me"

^^v