Mr. & Mrs. Bahagia: I was unconscious yesterday

Two days ago I felt unwell, suddenly my voice changed, I thought I got flue and cough.

Yesterday it was getting worse. I woke up early in the morning and planned to be off from work today coz I got temperature, headache, and I finally lost my voice.

In the afternoon, I was sleeping when mom suddenly called out my name and asked for a help. I hurriedly woke up and tried to help her.

Well when I woke up I felt my heart beat in an unusual rhythm. A couple minutes after I help mom I felt my heart beat faster and faster, I can still feel it till now. Then I lost my balance, and I suddenly collapsed, I was unconscious. For some minutes my soul was flying away. Then I recover from the unconsciousness.

All I could see was Dad. He was holding me and I was sat on a chair. I was really limp, I couldn't even lifting my head. It felt like spinning around. I burst into tears, they came out of my eyes. My Dad kept on asking me to say Istighfar, and I kept praying it was not the last time I live in the world.

My mind went away, I was really scared, I felt nausea and I had to keep my head laid on the wall. Mom made a glass of warm tea for me. Everyone in my home came to see me. I felt so nausea. And mom decided to take me to the bathroom to vomit.
Then yeah I vomit.

All the food I have eaten came out. I was a lil bit happy coz I finally a lil relieve. No more nausea though my body was still limp. Mom took me to the bed, asked me to have a rest, then slept beside me.

On the bed, Mom was fell a sleep but I couldn't sleep at all. I decided to tell my HC abt what happened to me, he asked me to have a rest and promised to come after I woke up.

He came in the afternoon, he said I needed to set aside all the working stuffs that cause me stressful. I knew this condition is psycho somatic, I was too busy these days and think too much. I need to break for a moment. I am so weak lately. I hope I can get more rest.

Saya dan Cerita: Ide Cerita

Ini cuma ide cerita aja, buat yang mau bikin jadi cerita full silahkan.. karena jujur aku sendiri gak ada waktu buat ngerjainnya... tapi jangan nyaplok sembarangan yach, ijin dulu ke aku... terus, ntar klo uda bikin draft ceritanya jangan lupa di-share ke aku... pingin baca.... ^_^

~......begini idenya......~

Pernahkan kalian tertidur pada suatu malam dan bermimpi, di pagi harinya kalian terbangun dan mendapati apa yang kalian mimpikan tadi malam terjadi dihadapan kalian. Percaya atau tidak hal itu sangat sering aku alami. Terlalu sering untuk dapat aku ingat semuanya satu persatu secara detail. Tapi satu hal ini sangat membekas dan tidak akan pernah hilang.

Pada suatu pagi ketika aku bersiap untuk berangkat kuliah,

~Tiiin tiiinn~

Klakson angkot langgananku memanggil, dari luar terdengar suara si abang sopir berteriak dengan nyaringnya, "Neeeeng... cepetan, Neng"

"Sabar, Bang. Tinggal pake sepatu doank," sahutku dengan tidak kalah lantangnya. Kedua orang tuaku hanya tersenyum. Kemudian aku berpamitan kepada mereka berdua dan berlari sekuat tenaga.

Aku dengan sigap menaiki angkot bang Thamrin yang ternyata sudah penuh, dan hanya menyisakan satu tempat kosong di pojok dekat pintu. Pantatku hanya duduk separuh, aku berusaha menggeser orang di sampingku berharap dia berbesar hati untuk sedikit bergeser dan merapat. Tapi dia tidak sedikitpun bergeser, malah berkata, "telat minta jatah kursi".

(to be continued...)

Mr. & Mrs. Bahagia: Note for the Day

It is 10.40pm,

wow... I stay up late again (well for me it's late already).

It is okay, just spending a little time to note my day.

I opened my eyes at 5am, the nature call woke me up.

I took wudhu and did subuh prayer.

I really hoped I could sleep after the prayer,

but then Mom asked me to accompany Dad to have a morning stroll.

I really felt so tired but I tried to say yes,

well Dad rarely want to have a morning stroll and at this time I tried to force him though I was really, really tired.

And as usual, I just didn't work.

He didn't want to wake up and chose to sleep, and my morning ended up in bed.

Yahoo.... there I slept again...

I woke up at 9am,

I realized I haven't done one of my duty which deadline was today,

so I directly opened the laptop and did what I had to do.

Thank God I could finish it easily,

and printed it.

Like usual, after everything had been done in the morning I went to my HC house.

I asked him if he had taken the medicine or not,

and I asked him whether he's getting better or not,

and his answer relieved me a little coz he said it's getting better...

After a short while talking with him,

I went home and prepare for work.

I promised him I would come before I went to work so we have time to talk.

But then I realized the time was not enough for us to have a talk,

I just came to his house and say goodbye.

He had no choice but to leave me and said goodbye, too.

I was sad but I know he understood why.

I went to work at 1.20pm, my brother took me to work.

On our way to my working place I asked him to stop to copy some papers used for teaching today.

Well, my day at work was fine.

An old friend came to have a visit,

she is still the same like she was.

The way she talks still in an excited way,

it was just nice to see her again.

She brought me a book from a seminar we will join in March 26th,

it's about teaching and learning.

She's just nice.

It was raining but still she came to send that book and the receipt of the seminar.

Thanks, Sis, for your kindness.

She went home before the rain stopped coz she had to go to her friend's house.

I thought my students wouldn't come because until 5pm they hadn't come,

but then they came and I had to teach them.

Well, this was time for speaking so it was not really hard to teach.

The second class I had today was 9th graders, and thursday is time to have a try out, so it doesn't need much energy coz I just need to supervise them.

Go home time came,

I received a text from my HC,

he said he wanted me to come to his house to accompany him after I reached home.

My brother picked me up just as usual, not on time.

We didn't directly go home,

He needed to buy something and then we went to a CD rental.

I took a long time coz there were lot of customers came.

We reached home at about 8.30pm,

I planned to directly go to his house after finishing dressed up,

but before I finished doing all I wanted to do he sent me text,

he said he wanted to sleep.

Oops... I knew he got angry coz until about 9pm I hadn't gone to his house.

I replied it by asking him to wait coz I was about to go to his home when he texted me.

Then as fast as I could I went to his house.

There he was laying on his bed and about to sleep but I tried to wake him up...

Then he woke up,

as usual I asked him whether he had taken the medicines or not,

he answered yes, but then he asked me should he come back to the doctor and buy the medicines again coz he thought it is just too expensive...

Then I found out he hadn't taken one of the medicine.

I got angry because of that.

We caught in an argue,

and ended up with no words...

I tried to break the ice by asking him to take that medicine,

he did what I asked him to.

Then I told him that I really love him, I want him to recover and healthy again.

He said nothing just nodding.

I said to him money is nothing compare with his health.

I want him to be healthy, coz if he's sick I am so sad.

If he doen't take his medicines, he is not hurting his health, he's hurting me.

I told him that if I was sick I want to be treated the same way I did to him.

I know he will do the same way I do to him...

The medicine made him easily hungry,

and that time, too...

So we cooked noodle together and I asked him to eat.

And I was so shocked that I found out he hadn't eaten another medicine he should take...

I asked him to take that and asked him to sleep.

And now here I am... stuck in front of the laptop writing this note....

I really want to sleep.

Well, it takes about an hour to write this note coz while writing I watch 4mata and other program.

Okay that's all...

I need to sleep now...

But, can I???

Hopefully....

Mr. & Mrs. Bahagia: TODAY

Today is a tiring day, for about 15 hours after I woke up I haven't had any rest time. I started today with a smile at 7am, wished today would be better than yesterday. Then daily routines comes... Did some home and work duties, tried hard to divide time as good as possible.

As usual I went to my Hubby Candidat (HC) to have a visit and make sure he took all the medicines -since he got bad disease-, accompany him for a while and back to duties. At about 11, I was about to sleep when my hand and my brain suddenly forced me to text my HC, and guess what his answer is... 'Come here, I need you'. Owh God, just couldn't resist that.. Without thinking too much I went there and forget about how sleepy I was. Just to accompany him is more than anything, and the word 'need'... I love it...

There we were just talking, and share about his disease. After a long while talking, I went home to prepare for work. I have to work though my mind and my body said I couldn't but I had to. Took a bath, got dress, had lunch, and went to working place.

Teaching is my favourit time at work, coz I can get close to my student, be their friend... Though sometime they aren't really behave to me, but I know they love me, they don't know how to show me that they love me...

When teaching was finished, I did some other duties... Wished all could be finished and it's time to go home and have some rest... but then I got a message from my HC, he said he was in a clinic, and he got no. 14 to visit the doctor. And the fact was that the doctor hadn't come, he would come at 8.30pm. Because of that he went home then he asked me to accompany him to visit the doctor... I agreed...

I went home when it was time to go home, but my bro hadn't come... had to wait for about 30 minutes to go home. I was so hungry that I asked my HC to wait for me while I was eating. After that we went to the clinic.

We had to wait for about 5 no to come to our turn. We wait there patiently, while we were waiting for our turn, I saw him texting someone, I tried to peep but he tried to hide it from me, at last I found out that that text was for me, he wrote 'I think we are ment to be, we are solid and hope we can be a couple forever, as husband and wife', I smiled... I love him... I love the text he wrote, he is not a romatic person, he never boast or saying sweet nothing, but he just know how to treat me well... I love him...

Then It was time for us, the doctor examined my HC and asked several questions related to his disease. He answered what he felt and what he knew and there come the doctor analysis, he said this disease was caused by toothache which wasn't cured well, and it has become a little serious because there is infection. Hopefully there is no suppuration coz if there is it means this disease has become so serious, he needs to be cured and the suppuration needs to be taken out.

The doctor gave some medicines he has to take daily. And wow, it cost lot of money, but that's okay for me... The most important thing is he get back his healthy... He doesn't know exactly how much our money is coz he gave all his salary to me directly after he got it, every month.... He asked me to manage, I can see his belief in me of managing the money.

When he knew that it cost lot of money he showed his sad face, but I said what I feel that his health is more important than money... I love him that's why I need him to be healthy so we can go to some places we haven't visited since he got that disease...

Get well soon my dear HC, I love you... Anyone who read this note.. Pray for his health....

And now here I am at the end of this text... I just realize something that I haven't done 1 of my duty and the deadline is tomorrow... *cry* Well, all is going to be just fine.... ^_^

Saya Kecewa: Teacher and Students

Being a teacher is not easy. It makes your soul up and down like roller coaster. Deep inside my heart I only want to share all knowledge I know even the smallest or biggest one my students need to know even though they think they don't.

I only want to share, share honestly without lie. Sometimes students make you so happy because of their positive deeds, but sometimes they make you cry, crying like a baby.

For me it's okay feeling that way once, twice or three times, but God... if it happens many times... I'm only human, I cannot cope it...

Sometimes I really want to cry, but should I cry in front of them just to show that what they have done to me was really hurting my heart? I'm not that kind of teacher. I try to be patient, to hide every single pain I felt. Try not to be too childish to show it.

Well, I try to tell myself that this is all for them, none in return to me. It's just kind of subjection, I got salary but well, that's not the only thing I want. Deep down inside me, I really want to see them grow as a very successful children.

I don't really know will they still remember me when they grow up, when I grow older, when thye have got their successful life, when I was suffering from my old diseases.

Saya dan Puisi: Usual Vs Unusual

It is usual when a boyfriend often comes to his girl's house, but a girl often comes to her boy's house??

That's weird and so unusual, how could she do it?!

It is usual when a girlfriend rarely comes to her boy's house, but a boy rarely comes to his girl's house??

That's weird and so unusual, how could he do it?!

Saya dan Puisi: Have You People Ever Felt

Have you people ever felt

Like your age is getting older

Older than you ever known

Like your life is getting shorter

Shorter than you have ever asked

Like your hope disappears so fast

Even faster than you have ever thought

Like you are fear of your own death

The most fearful feeling you have ever felt

Everyday you wake up just to find

That you are dying on the sand of

Weaknesses, helplessness, fearfulness

I am feeling them now

Feeling like I'm going to be buried

Feeling like I'm going to be forgotten

Feeling like I'm going to die

Saya dan Puisi: Tonight Sky

I used to be afraid of the night sky
I thought it was frightening and terrifying
But this night I don't feel it
I don't know why, I really enjoy watching it
Watching the stars try to show their existance
I love tonight sky

Saya dan Puisi: Can Anyone Answer My Question

Where is everyone?
Where are they going?
Can't they hear me?
Can't they see me?
Why don't they notice me?

Why can I see me there?
Laying down on a small wooden bed
With pale skin and
I can't see my breast going up and down
No breath

Can I come back?
Can anyone answer this question?

Saya dan Puisi: Trace the Past

Have you ever look back

when your way suddenly stopped

have you ever measure

how many miles have you stepped

that’s the way i feel now

i just don’t know how

the brain has been distracted

the memory fades away

only a little shade of history left

if i were given a time

i would trace what i have left

i would take evey little piece of my memory

from my history

seeing an old friends, old teachers, family, relatives

who were forgotten

who were left behind

who had passed away

who had moved to different time and place

they have led us to where we are now

but forgotten

i would take every little piece of my memory

from my history

to recall the laughter we shared

to recall the sadness we passed

to recall all the ups and downs

i miss them, i do miss them

i miss all of them

i miss you...

Saya dan Puisi: That Black Point

suddenly everything seems so old

suddenly everything seems so far away

suddenly everything seems fade away

running doesn't change anything

walking so slow will be left behind

scream out loud won't be heard

whispering so soft will be forgotten

suddenly cold runs from the tip of my fingers

from the toe to the whole part of the body

blood become as solid as stone

the heart beats so fast

the black point comes closer

faster than i could ever thought

the shade of darkness comes....